Washington Women Leaders Association Chapter Meeting: The Art of Networking
Tameka Hall of Kapitus discusses ideas and strategies about the art of networking at the Washington Women Leaders Association Chapter Meeting.
Transcript
well now we are going to move to our next presentation of the afternoon so tamama can you turn your camera on and say hello hello well we are so excited to have you here with us today so could you please pull your slides up yes I
will can you all can you see my screen that looks Fant that looks great um the floor is all yours take it away all right thank you okay so the art of networking and um building a meaningful professional relationship so first let me tell you a little bit about myself um my name is Tama Hall I am the vice president of Enterprise risk management and internal audit for a financial services company called capitus here in Northern Virginia I'm originally from New Jersey born and raised I graduated from Ruckers University with a bachelor's degree in economics uh before I relocated to the DC area in 2008 I also recently graduated from the Wharton School MBA program for executives with a double focus in finance and management so when I first moved to the DC area I um encountered what most of what most people probably encounter as a young unemployed 20-some is that people always told me it's not what you know it's who you know and I remember feeling incredibly frustrated by that statement because I didn't know anyone and so this is a framework that I would give to myself at that age or to anyone who really wants to build an authentic Network because authentic Network building is something that can be done at any level um I think it was Ria who talked about in the last um panel about building relationships with change makers and those who make decisions and using these pillars and building this you know authentic connection is how you do those things so I'll talk about the format of the presentation first before I jump in and then we can start um I'll talk about each pillar first briefly I'll give you a common Pitfall of that pillar and then uh some gener generic advice to get over that Pitfall for visual interest and because I'm a recent NBA grad I of course had to use AI for my presentation and so I used AI to generate an image based on that Pitfall and so that's an image you'll see in the corner so if it doesn't make sense you can blame the large language model that I used to create the image so pillar number one is be genuine and I want to take the time to different tell the differentiation between being authentic and being genuine uh for a long period of time I feel like there was this movement to bring your authentic self to the workplace and I know for me that didn't really resonate uh my authentic self is naturally introverted and whenever I say that people kind of make a face but just know that if you ever meet me in person you are meeting my extroverted representative extroversion is a skill it is a skill that I practice and that I have to continuously work on but I am introverted so bringing my authentic introverted self to work has not always worked out in my best favor because introversion can be seen as um uninterested not a team player or standoffish and so I encourage people instead to be genuine and being genuine is about being um moving in good faith with your actions being honest with your intentions because you want to set that solid foundation of the connections you're building with people um because again a network is an exchange and so you want to again start that foundation with honesty and transparency so a common Pitfall with being genuine is that some people believe that means being the same to everyone that you engage with which is simply not true and this is the image that AI generated um it has a hard time with words as well as uh name plates it think there's multiple and the advice to get over that of course is to tailor your approach to each person you can always be honest but you can always adapt your approach to the audience that you're engaging with when you are building your networks the second pillar is networking with a purpose and networking with a purpose is about having clear strategic goals rather than casually collecting connections it's about having goals for networking as well as aligning them with your personal and professional objectives you want to be intentional and know who you want to to connect with why you are connecting and how that relationship is beneficial and this pillar reminds me of Facebook and I don't mean meta Facebook I mean like OG Facebook because I was part of the lucky cohort that experienced Facebook when you needed to have a college email address and at that point I accepted anyone as my friend on Facebook and to this day I'm still deleting connections of people that I'm pretty sure I've never met and I have no idea who they are but I just added them but of course I had no strategy for what I used Facebook for and now do I use Facebook to stay connected with my friends and close family and so I'm much more guarded with how I engage with that Network and who I allow access to that so be intentional about those you network with and those you allow into your network be purposeful and intentional a common Pitfall with uh networking with a purpose though is going with a what can I get out of it mindset um when you are only in it for yourself people can sense those things and it can be very Det mental to your networking ability so this is the image that AI generated for me again still the same issue with the name tags but the what can you do for me attitude is not the way you want to generate authentic networks and you going want to go in with a giving mindset because again a network is about an exchange it is about a mutual giving of information ideas and so coming in with kind of a servant mindset can be helpful in building authentic
networks the next pillar is have emotional intelligence and emotional intelligence is about the ability to understand use and manage our own emotions now as well as understanding influence others emotions and I know it feels somewhat tonedeff to talk to a group of women professionals about having EQ because I know based on scientific research and anecdotally as a woman that we have higher EQ than our male counterparts so for this pillar I would say I encourage you to leverage your EQ because it is a valuable skill and it can be used to your advantage and so when you are engaging with your with network connections use your EQ to gather data you know around your connections and make sure you're missing those non-verbal cues so a common Pitfall related to having a queue again is not paying attention to the non-verbal cues of people around you and being focused on your own agenda and I think this is actually a very good representation of not focusing on emotional cues as one person is smiling and having a great time and another person is obviously not so much enjoying the
conversation and so the advice for that is to active practice active listening skills and pay attention again to the non-verbal cues that are going on um that you can again it's just Gathering more data it's collecting more data points about the people that you want to engage
with the fourth pillar is about using storytelling um I think storytelling is one of the best and easiest ways to build connections storytelling is engaging it's relatable and if done right it's done right it's really memorable I know for me when I go into networking events especially very big networking events I will have a few stories on hand stories that are true but stories on hand that I like to tell people because it's again it's something I can remember it's about one of my favorite topics myself and it's how people relate I'm sure we've all been in situations where you've met someone and maybe you cannot remember their name but you can absolutely remember a story that they told you and you can probably remember that story with some semblance of detail because for some reason storytelling sticks and I know that there are science behind it but telling stories to people really makes it makes the conversation relatable and engaging so I think using storytelling is another great way to get people involved and build those authentic uh connections with people as you are um you know getting to know them and and going through this process so a common Pitfall again is being too self centered talking about only I you want to make this again a conversation it should be engaging and you should invite other people to share in their stories and not just focus on yourself I think this meme is a great representation of what a common Pitfall is with telling stories this is when you're supposed to be giving um you're supposed to be networking and it turns into a TED talk about your workout probably very off topic probably very off pitting not a good way to build authentic connections I also find this picture interesting again because there are two clocks I think this is kind of a water bottle um but again AI has a a very interesting way of of generating pictures of of things that people do and I got a way to overcome those pitfalls is using shared experiences and relatability of Storytelling as well as inviting others um and for sharing to share their perspectives um and similar
stories and the final pillar which is actually the most important is sustain relationships so if pillar one through four are the foundation of your garden sustaining relationships is going to be the water that makes it grow if you're going to do the work of the first four you definitely want to make sure that you continue to cultivate these relationships so that you can derive value from them the way that I do this um is that you have to focus on quality over quantity we live in a time where we don't always have free time to engage with people you don't have time to make a lot of phone calls or send a lot of messages and so i' like to make sure that the connections that I do talk to or do have time to engage with they are it's quality engagement and so I look for what I call Quick wins and quick wins are when people that are in my network people that I have uh you know s um significant connections with ask me for a favor that is well within my wheelhouse I will absolutely say yes if it is something that I can do that will give you great value and that takes very little work from me I will absolutely say yes because it's important to me that I provide value to those that are in my network I want to build Goodwill for those people and I also know that when they win I win so I encourage you to look for quick wins ways that are easy for you to sustain relationships I know some people one thing they encourage you do is to celebrate everyone's success and that is a very good thing even if it's just something on social media as celebrating every time someone gets promoted every time they have good news those words of encouragement those little points of cont people remember people remember who you know is by their side when they are having you know positive moments in their life and so while you cannot reach out to them all the time you can still take time for those kind of important moments and you know that fit into your Dynamic and celebrate times in their lives or again successes to help sustain those connections that you have with people so a common Pitfall that people have that was only reaching out when you want something only contacting when you're looking for a job I know we've all had someone blind you blindly emailing you asking you for a job and met this person that is not the way we sustain or build a contact that is not the way we sustain or build a network um there should be engagement ongoing it does not have to be frequently but the quality of the communication that you have with this connection should be positive and it should be good it doesn't have to be frequently but it has to be of good quality this is the meme that um the AI generated which I think is very interesting interesting because um it's supposed to be based on Seinfeld and I don't think it knows that because it uses Jerry Seinfeld uses a mouse from Tom and Jerry which I thought was very funny uh but this is the representation of this common Pitfall and again a way that you help sustain these relationships is reach out without an agenda sometimes if you just reach out again congratulating someone with their success is reaching out without an agenda whoos to you I'm happy for you I don't want anything I'm just saying congratulations so engage with your Network Regular where regularly when you can and when you are engaging with them make sure their engagements of
value so in summary networking is more than than business cards and Linkedin connections networking is a really valuable tool that you can utilize to reach your professional and personal goals but it's important that you're intentional about who you invite into your network and how you maintain those connections and I encourage you to take inventory because I know this audience we are all at various levels of our career but even today we can all take inventory of our network of our personal and professional networks assess what our goals are with those networks and see if they are actually aligned with what we are trying to achieve you can look at these pillars and see if there are areas where you can work harder are there places where you can network with a purpose I know for me when I went to network with I I like to network with a purpose and so I like to tie my hobbies to my professional goals I like to golf I've joined a women's golf league and a lot of the women in that League are on you know volunteer boards we all have that commonality and so it's something that allows me to work on both my professional goals and personal goals and so I get to be genuine I'm networking with a purpose I am using storytelling I talk to people engage with them I see them on a regular basis when we have these events and so I'm sustaining these relationships but this kind of networking and this kind of relationship building all fits within my personal professional goals and you know the strategy of my networking so build an authentic Network by aligning and coming up with a strategic goal and aligning it with your personal and professional
objectives and thank you well Tama thank you so much for that wonderful presentation and everyone thank you so much for keeping all of those questions coming to our chat I'll start with this first comment from Molly she says fellow introverted leader here and what you said is spot on
oh thank you and I'll get to our next question from Carrie kind of a different Spin and Carrie says how do I say no I'm super giving of my time but I'm currently overwhelmed with family obligations I'll be back but I can't help your niece who's starting journalism school next semester right now you know I I recently heard advice and I don't know if I can convey it properly but it's a way of saying you would love to help but you have other things that you have to balance in the interim it's like I'd love to if I could do this um but if there are times when you'd have to say no um if you're building an authentic Network and you're building a connection with someone that again you have rapport with they understand and they all know that you have life and you have other things going on I think that's also the most important thing is that when you're building these networks you have these connections with people there is that underlying relationship they're not strangers they know you have maybe a family or whatever you have going on and I think having that understanding and you have that genuine relationship allows you to be able to say no without feelings being hurt because we have you give you know you give space to your friends it's difference between like a a a stranger and a friend saying no I understand my friends I know what they have going on versus a stranger but when you're building an authentic Network they're more like a friend than a stranger and so they're more I think understanding of when you have to say no and because you give them quality they understand that you're telling me no because you have to say no not because you just don't want to help me so I think as long as it's an authentic connection saying no isn't a bad thing you're saying no because you don't have the bandwidth but maybe also give them an opportunity to in the future that you would maybe be available to help them in another space when you have capacity that's great advice I think we have time for one more question before we move to our panel discussion and this is one from Izzy and she says how do you measure the strength of your network I think that's a very good question I would measure the strength of my network by the level of Engagement I would say that uh a quiet network is not a very strong Network um because even when I'm not moving towards an opportunity or doing something active in my network I'm always still engaging with it and I think that is always strong because it's always ready for me when I need to do something so I think that is a good measurement of the strength of your network is it ready to go are you still working on it but it's kind of more so the volume of it so if you don't if your network is very quiet if you don't contact people very often if you're not hearing from people very often I would say you don't have a very strong Network right if no one's reaching out to you if you're not reaching out to anyone that's probably not those aren't strong connections a louder Network more contacts even if you're saying no a lot that is still a strong Network those are still people reaching out to you that know that you are valuable and that know that you can they can help you and you can help them and so that's I think what I would used to measure because I'm always again working in my network I'm always talking to people you know at various levels and so I think I would use that as a measure of the strength wonderful advice thank you for that well as we um before we get to our final panel for the day any final words of wisdom for our viewers today uh my only uh words of wisdom as someone that lived in again I say I'm from New Jersey which if you don't know can kind of be very small town and so coming here to DC is really kind of the network Capital um and I love that about this area because knowing people really can help you get into other rooms and so many other places and if you are able to be successful without networking imagine the power that you would hold if you really leaned into networking and that is the entire reason why I do this and why I try to network and work on extrovert is because I got myself far and I had people tell me you have to get out there and talk to people knowing canone to work with you no knows who you are and so if you're hesitant or if you're unsure about networking I would advise you to lean in even if it's uncomfortable because it can help you take your career even further and just further your personal and professional goals fantastic advice well thank you for your time to present this afternoon all right thank you
will can you all can you see my screen that looks Fant that looks great um the floor is all yours take it away all right thank you okay so the art of networking and um building a meaningful professional relationship so first let me tell you a little bit about myself um my name is Tama Hall I am the vice president of Enterprise risk management and internal audit for a financial services company called capitus here in Northern Virginia I'm originally from New Jersey born and raised I graduated from Ruckers University with a bachelor's degree in economics uh before I relocated to the DC area in 2008 I also recently graduated from the Wharton School MBA program for executives with a double focus in finance and management so when I first moved to the DC area I um encountered what most of what most people probably encounter as a young unemployed 20-some is that people always told me it's not what you know it's who you know and I remember feeling incredibly frustrated by that statement because I didn't know anyone and so this is a framework that I would give to myself at that age or to anyone who really wants to build an authentic Network because authentic Network building is something that can be done at any level um I think it was Ria who talked about in the last um panel about building relationships with change makers and those who make decisions and using these pillars and building this you know authentic connection is how you do those things so I'll talk about the format of the presentation first before I jump in and then we can start um I'll talk about each pillar first briefly I'll give you a common Pitfall of that pillar and then uh some gener generic advice to get over that Pitfall for visual interest and because I'm a recent NBA grad I of course had to use AI for my presentation and so I used AI to generate an image based on that Pitfall and so that's an image you'll see in the corner so if it doesn't make sense you can blame the large language model that I used to create the image so pillar number one is be genuine and I want to take the time to different tell the differentiation between being authentic and being genuine uh for a long period of time I feel like there was this movement to bring your authentic self to the workplace and I know for me that didn't really resonate uh my authentic self is naturally introverted and whenever I say that people kind of make a face but just know that if you ever meet me in person you are meeting my extroverted representative extroversion is a skill it is a skill that I practice and that I have to continuously work on but I am introverted so bringing my authentic introverted self to work has not always worked out in my best favor because introversion can be seen as um uninterested not a team player or standoffish and so I encourage people instead to be genuine and being genuine is about being um moving in good faith with your actions being honest with your intentions because you want to set that solid foundation of the connections you're building with people um because again a network is an exchange and so you want to again start that foundation with honesty and transparency so a common Pitfall with being genuine is that some people believe that means being the same to everyone that you engage with which is simply not true and this is the image that AI generated um it has a hard time with words as well as uh name plates it think there's multiple and the advice to get over that of course is to tailor your approach to each person you can always be honest but you can always adapt your approach to the audience that you're engaging with when you are building your networks the second pillar is networking with a purpose and networking with a purpose is about having clear strategic goals rather than casually collecting connections it's about having goals for networking as well as aligning them with your personal and professional objectives you want to be intentional and know who you want to to connect with why you are connecting and how that relationship is beneficial and this pillar reminds me of Facebook and I don't mean meta Facebook I mean like OG Facebook because I was part of the lucky cohort that experienced Facebook when you needed to have a college email address and at that point I accepted anyone as my friend on Facebook and to this day I'm still deleting connections of people that I'm pretty sure I've never met and I have no idea who they are but I just added them but of course I had no strategy for what I used Facebook for and now do I use Facebook to stay connected with my friends and close family and so I'm much more guarded with how I engage with that Network and who I allow access to that so be intentional about those you network with and those you allow into your network be purposeful and intentional a common Pitfall with uh networking with a purpose though is going with a what can I get out of it mindset um when you are only in it for yourself people can sense those things and it can be very Det mental to your networking ability so this is the image that AI generated for me again still the same issue with the name tags but the what can you do for me attitude is not the way you want to generate authentic networks and you going want to go in with a giving mindset because again a network is about an exchange it is about a mutual giving of information ideas and so coming in with kind of a servant mindset can be helpful in building authentic
networks the next pillar is have emotional intelligence and emotional intelligence is about the ability to understand use and manage our own emotions now as well as understanding influence others emotions and I know it feels somewhat tonedeff to talk to a group of women professionals about having EQ because I know based on scientific research and anecdotally as a woman that we have higher EQ than our male counterparts so for this pillar I would say I encourage you to leverage your EQ because it is a valuable skill and it can be used to your advantage and so when you are engaging with your with network connections use your EQ to gather data you know around your connections and make sure you're missing those non-verbal cues so a common Pitfall related to having a queue again is not paying attention to the non-verbal cues of people around you and being focused on your own agenda and I think this is actually a very good representation of not focusing on emotional cues as one person is smiling and having a great time and another person is obviously not so much enjoying the
conversation and so the advice for that is to active practice active listening skills and pay attention again to the non-verbal cues that are going on um that you can again it's just Gathering more data it's collecting more data points about the people that you want to engage
with the fourth pillar is about using storytelling um I think storytelling is one of the best and easiest ways to build connections storytelling is engaging it's relatable and if done right it's done right it's really memorable I know for me when I go into networking events especially very big networking events I will have a few stories on hand stories that are true but stories on hand that I like to tell people because it's again it's something I can remember it's about one of my favorite topics myself and it's how people relate I'm sure we've all been in situations where you've met someone and maybe you cannot remember their name but you can absolutely remember a story that they told you and you can probably remember that story with some semblance of detail because for some reason storytelling sticks and I know that there are science behind it but telling stories to people really makes it makes the conversation relatable and engaging so I think using storytelling is another great way to get people involved and build those authentic uh connections with people as you are um you know getting to know them and and going through this process so a common Pitfall again is being too self centered talking about only I you want to make this again a conversation it should be engaging and you should invite other people to share in their stories and not just focus on yourself I think this meme is a great representation of what a common Pitfall is with telling stories this is when you're supposed to be giving um you're supposed to be networking and it turns into a TED talk about your workout probably very off topic probably very off pitting not a good way to build authentic connections I also find this picture interesting again because there are two clocks I think this is kind of a water bottle um but again AI has a a very interesting way of of generating pictures of of things that people do and I got a way to overcome those pitfalls is using shared experiences and relatability of Storytelling as well as inviting others um and for sharing to share their perspectives um and similar
stories and the final pillar which is actually the most important is sustain relationships so if pillar one through four are the foundation of your garden sustaining relationships is going to be the water that makes it grow if you're going to do the work of the first four you definitely want to make sure that you continue to cultivate these relationships so that you can derive value from them the way that I do this um is that you have to focus on quality over quantity we live in a time where we don't always have free time to engage with people you don't have time to make a lot of phone calls or send a lot of messages and so i' like to make sure that the connections that I do talk to or do have time to engage with they are it's quality engagement and so I look for what I call Quick wins and quick wins are when people that are in my network people that I have uh you know s um significant connections with ask me for a favor that is well within my wheelhouse I will absolutely say yes if it is something that I can do that will give you great value and that takes very little work from me I will absolutely say yes because it's important to me that I provide value to those that are in my network I want to build Goodwill for those people and I also know that when they win I win so I encourage you to look for quick wins ways that are easy for you to sustain relationships I know some people one thing they encourage you do is to celebrate everyone's success and that is a very good thing even if it's just something on social media as celebrating every time someone gets promoted every time they have good news those words of encouragement those little points of cont people remember people remember who you know is by their side when they are having you know positive moments in their life and so while you cannot reach out to them all the time you can still take time for those kind of important moments and you know that fit into your Dynamic and celebrate times in their lives or again successes to help sustain those connections that you have with people so a common Pitfall that people have that was only reaching out when you want something only contacting when you're looking for a job I know we've all had someone blind you blindly emailing you asking you for a job and met this person that is not the way we sustain or build a contact that is not the way we sustain or build a network um there should be engagement ongoing it does not have to be frequently but the quality of the communication that you have with this connection should be positive and it should be good it doesn't have to be frequently but it has to be of good quality this is the meme that um the AI generated which I think is very interesting interesting because um it's supposed to be based on Seinfeld and I don't think it knows that because it uses Jerry Seinfeld uses a mouse from Tom and Jerry which I thought was very funny uh but this is the representation of this common Pitfall and again a way that you help sustain these relationships is reach out without an agenda sometimes if you just reach out again congratulating someone with their success is reaching out without an agenda whoos to you I'm happy for you I don't want anything I'm just saying congratulations so engage with your Network Regular where regularly when you can and when you are engaging with them make sure their engagements of
value so in summary networking is more than than business cards and Linkedin connections networking is a really valuable tool that you can utilize to reach your professional and personal goals but it's important that you're intentional about who you invite into your network and how you maintain those connections and I encourage you to take inventory because I know this audience we are all at various levels of our career but even today we can all take inventory of our network of our personal and professional networks assess what our goals are with those networks and see if they are actually aligned with what we are trying to achieve you can look at these pillars and see if there are areas where you can work harder are there places where you can network with a purpose I know for me when I went to network with I I like to network with a purpose and so I like to tie my hobbies to my professional goals I like to golf I've joined a women's golf league and a lot of the women in that League are on you know volunteer boards we all have that commonality and so it's something that allows me to work on both my professional goals and personal goals and so I get to be genuine I'm networking with a purpose I am using storytelling I talk to people engage with them I see them on a regular basis when we have these events and so I'm sustaining these relationships but this kind of networking and this kind of relationship building all fits within my personal professional goals and you know the strategy of my networking so build an authentic Network by aligning and coming up with a strategic goal and aligning it with your personal and professional
objectives and thank you well Tama thank you so much for that wonderful presentation and everyone thank you so much for keeping all of those questions coming to our chat I'll start with this first comment from Molly she says fellow introverted leader here and what you said is spot on
oh thank you and I'll get to our next question from Carrie kind of a different Spin and Carrie says how do I say no I'm super giving of my time but I'm currently overwhelmed with family obligations I'll be back but I can't help your niece who's starting journalism school next semester right now you know I I recently heard advice and I don't know if I can convey it properly but it's a way of saying you would love to help but you have other things that you have to balance in the interim it's like I'd love to if I could do this um but if there are times when you'd have to say no um if you're building an authentic Network and you're building a connection with someone that again you have rapport with they understand and they all know that you have life and you have other things going on I think that's also the most important thing is that when you're building these networks you have these connections with people there is that underlying relationship they're not strangers they know you have maybe a family or whatever you have going on and I think having that understanding and you have that genuine relationship allows you to be able to say no without feelings being hurt because we have you give you know you give space to your friends it's difference between like a a a stranger and a friend saying no I understand my friends I know what they have going on versus a stranger but when you're building an authentic Network they're more like a friend than a stranger and so they're more I think understanding of when you have to say no and because you give them quality they understand that you're telling me no because you have to say no not because you just don't want to help me so I think as long as it's an authentic connection saying no isn't a bad thing you're saying no because you don't have the bandwidth but maybe also give them an opportunity to in the future that you would maybe be available to help them in another space when you have capacity that's great advice I think we have time for one more question before we move to our panel discussion and this is one from Izzy and she says how do you measure the strength of your network I think that's a very good question I would measure the strength of my network by the level of Engagement I would say that uh a quiet network is not a very strong Network um because even when I'm not moving towards an opportunity or doing something active in my network I'm always still engaging with it and I think that is always strong because it's always ready for me when I need to do something so I think that is a good measurement of the strength of your network is it ready to go are you still working on it but it's kind of more so the volume of it so if you don't if your network is very quiet if you don't contact people very often if you're not hearing from people very often I would say you don't have a very strong Network right if no one's reaching out to you if you're not reaching out to anyone that's probably not those aren't strong connections a louder Network more contacts even if you're saying no a lot that is still a strong Network those are still people reaching out to you that know that you are valuable and that know that you can they can help you and you can help them and so that's I think what I would used to measure because I'm always again working in my network I'm always talking to people you know at various levels and so I think I would use that as a measure of the strength wonderful advice thank you for that well as we um before we get to our final panel for the day any final words of wisdom for our viewers today uh my only uh words of wisdom as someone that lived in again I say I'm from New Jersey which if you don't know can kind of be very small town and so coming here to DC is really kind of the network Capital um and I love that about this area because knowing people really can help you get into other rooms and so many other places and if you are able to be successful without networking imagine the power that you would hold if you really leaned into networking and that is the entire reason why I do this and why I try to network and work on extrovert is because I got myself far and I had people tell me you have to get out there and talk to people knowing canone to work with you no knows who you are and so if you're hesitant or if you're unsure about networking I would advise you to lean in even if it's uncomfortable because it can help you take your career even further and just further your personal and professional goals fantastic advice well thank you for your time to present this afternoon all right thank you